Daniel Tiger is my favorite show that Lisa watches. I tell everyone it’s her favorite, but let’s be real here. I love it because the characters are adorable *meow meow* and I trust that it’s something safe my daughter can watch. On a deeper level, I view it as emotional wellness training. Every 30-minute episode contains 2 situations with the same message about coping skills. And you’ll remember that message with its catchy tune!
As I drive Lisa around to library story times or to our weekly grocery trip, I sometimes contemplate what these messages mean to me as an adult. I find that some of these lessons have been overlooked as we grow up and we learn them later on in life. So, starting a weekly post about Daniel’s message and how it relates to my life. I hope that it helps some of you out there, too.
Today, we dive into feeling feelings. My relationship with feelings is slightly estranged. Growing up Catholic, I remember knowing that anger is bad, forgiveness is good, and as long as we’re sorry, everything will be ok. Treat others how you want to be treated. Well, I didn’t know that anger is actually a real and healthy human emotion. Stuffing it just makes it worse, like shaking up a soda bottle. When those contents DO come out, watch out! Anger will be for another day.
Today I’d like to talk about how feeling multiple feelings at the same time is ok. Why was this a revelation in my late 20s? I have no clue. But, I was amazed to see a Daniel Tiger episode dedicated to this. I love that it validates how complicated feelings can be, and to accept them, whatever they are.
“Sometimes you feel two feelings at the same time, and that’s ok.”
I learned in May 2018 that I can be angry and grateful. I was let go from a position that wasn’t serving me spiritually anymore. The Universe did for me what I couldn’t do for myself – remove what was blocking me from love and light. At first, I was relieved I wouldn’t need to be struggling to work anymore in a position where I felt I was compromising my integrity. And grateful that I could be home with my baby, who was 6 months old at the time. Then that feeling of rejection crept in, and resentment, anger, and self-pity filled my mind. It has taken me almost a year, but I am about 95% at peace about what happened. Slowly, I’ve let go of the resentment and anger and let the acceptance take over. This took a lot of discussion with others, prayer, and action.
I don’t regret what I’ve done or felt since then. I’ve learned so much about myself. However, I thought I was going insane, coming up with schemes to start a business, go into completely different industries. I couldn’t accept that I’m no longer working and bringing in an income. I logically knew that it’s ok to be a mom, wife, and friend. But my actions and self-talk proved that I really didn’t think that was acceptable. Wrestling with these two feelings – acceptance and inadequacy – made me feel like I was living two separate lives.
After an actually quite good job interview in February, I finally had a moment of, “What the heck am I doing?” and I reached out to the recruiter and basically said I’m not interested, I need to be home with my baby right now. Since then, I have felt more peace and less stress while pursuing other ventures. Like my Wildtree business. I absolutely love the business, but could not give it my full attention until all other ideas and options were exhausted. So here I am, offering organic meals, baking yummy things, and starting to blog again. Life is good!
